Ever wondered if homemaking is a thing of the past? Is it really just an old fashioned and out of date lifestyle that belongs in the past?
I’ve been a homemaker for over 3 years now, and I feel quite passionately about the work I do in and around my home. So, I felt it was a good idea to talk about this on my blog.
When it really comes down to it, I don’t think it is. I think there is still a place for this kind of lifestyle, and I believe there are many of us who prefer more traditional roles in the home.
Disclaimer: I’m in no way saying that every woman should be a homemaker or SAHM. It’s up to each individual to make that decision, and not everyone thrives in a home environment or vice versa in a work environment. Everyone is free to do as they please!
Is homemaking too old fashioned?
No, it’s not too old fashioned. There’s a large community around this kind of lifestyle, if you only look for it.
It’s easy to quickly dismiss homemakers and housewives, stay at home mums, and other “at home” roles as a minority, but there’s a huge percentage of people who still follow this traditional way of life.
I would probably say a majority of those in the community is in America, but this doesn’t mean it’s the only place where it’s still done. Far from it!
I do think that as there’s a large proportion of homemakers who’s decision to be a homemaker stems from their religion, and their place to serve their husband, it’s easily misunderstood as a lesser role for women.
Personally, I don’t believe it is. It’s not an obligation, and there are those who work out of the home just like anybody else. I also don’t think it’s the only deciding factor in being a homemaker or not.
I’m personally not religious – not an atheist either, but that’s for another day – and me being a homemaker has nothing to do with that. I actually kind of fell into homemaking, and my partner and I found it was the best was for our relationship and lifestyle to work.
As for “serving” their husbands, I think this is taken too literally by those who are against homemakers and believe it to be against feminism – I’m a feminist and a homemaker, btw!
I don’t want to go too far into that rabbit hole, as religion plays no role in my decision to be a homemaker and I wouldn’t want to get this wrong on their behalf and spread wrong information.
Related: How I became a homemaker by accident
Homemaking can be seen as against feminism, but I don’t believe this to be true!
There’s also the part of the community who are homemakers or SAHM because they have young children. Some of them may go back to work once their child is old enough, but a lot of them will also continue to stay home.
Personally, I plan not to work after having children unless it’s from home and that is our “family plan”. We’ve settled on this decision because we feel we missed out on seeing our own parents as much as we could have if they had been a stay at home parent or similar.
Obviously, not everyone is in a position to be able to do this. Financially, it can be a huge drain on one person to get in enough hours and overtime to be able to cover this kind of lifestyle.
In the UK I believe there are certain situations where you would be entitled to some kind of benefit. I don’t use this system though, and I could be completely wrong, so don’t hold me to that!
I wanted to share the side of the working half too, so I asked the Farmer if there was anything he’d like to share on the topic:
“As a homemaker, you have the job of caring for the home while I’m at work. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do everything I say, you have your own mind. If you don’t feel well or don’t feel like doing something one day you, don’t have to. It’s your home too, and it’s down to both of us. It’s a joint thing, but I go to work for 9 hours a day and so I don’t have enough time to make it a home like you can. I don’t expect to come home to a perfect home every day. As a man I feel you don’t have to take care of me, I prefer you cooking because I really hate cooking, but if you need help I always offer it and have no problem with that.”
In our particular circumstances, the Farmer does do the very typical roles of the ’50s. He takes the bins out and mows the grass, but it’s quite literally down to circumstance. Our bins are at the yard on the farm so he takes them when he goes to work, and his lawn mower was a present for his birthday.
A homemaker potentially works much longer hours than their partner with a job
Being a homemaker or SAHM can also be the only option for some people. Cooking, cleaning, child care, food shopping, all takes time. I found this article which I found quite interesting. It claims homemakers work an average of 56 hours a week!
More than once I have heard the phrase “I work from when I wake up to when I go to sleep”. I have to say, I believe this to be true sometimes!
I used to be like that. I never had a moment to myself or time to do some self care or practice a hobby. My one and only form of identity was being a homemaker.
I have since changed that, and while it means y windows aren’t cleaned daily, the Farmer has thoroughly encouraged e to take time to myself if I need it. Before he could do that though, I had to realize myself that I was working myself to the bone, physically and mentally.
Related: Homemaking tips for new Homemakers
If you’ve read through all of that, well done! In a quick recap, I very much believe that homemaking has a place in a modern world. I don’t see a reason for it to be considered as “anti feminist” or too old fashioned for this day and age, although I can understand how it could be misinterpreted as such.
What are your thoughts? Do you think homemaking is too old fashioned or back on the rise?